[08 Feb 2010|09:40pm] [ music | birdie busch + drunk by noon. ] And I may be homeless next year? Good times. post comment

"I just want back in your head." [05 Feb 2010|12:33am] Bad news: I've moved up to needing the largest size of coffee, complete with four packs of sugar. My body's pretty upset about this one. Good news: Next Wednesday is coming, and although it's long overdue, I really think it will help. post comment

[19 Jan 2010|12:50am] There is never enough time. Every day, there is less and less time. It chases me into corners and doesn't let me breathe. I can't do what I want to do. So I sit. Here in my room, I close my eyes and I sit in my head and do all those things. Relive it since I can't have it now. The sensations are almost real. I sit in my head but hundreds of miles away there's a cold tile floor beneath me. Like I can almost will it to be real. That familiar sharp jolt over and over. These things I can't do anymore. post comment

Good & bad. [23 Dec 2009|01:41pm] [ mood | wanted. ] [ music | ella fitzgerald & louis jordan + baby, it's cold outside. ] Hello, world of design. I just got my first professional freelance job ever, and I didn't even go looking for it. The place I interned over the summer contacted me about coming in for a week and doing a project that'll be up for 3 years in the city. Make some cash & have another good portfolio piece? Yes, please. In other news, my dad's given me some undocumented terminal illness. He's been walking around the house coughing up his spleen, left kidney, gallbladder, etc. since I've been home. Well, at least I know what I have to look forward to. post comment

Already? Really? [16 Dec 2009|04:13am] [ mood | confused. ] For serious? Ryan Gofus is engaged? How am I at the age where all my childhood friends are getting married? When did this happen? When did we get old enough? Seriously? ..Seriously? 4 comments|post comment

Vive les dinosaures! [16 Dec 2009|01:57am] [ mood | caffeinated. ] [ music | arcade fire + wake up. ] So tonight instead of writing my final big French paper, I made a tiny flying dino animation for Rich & Co. to use on the opening of their film. Good news: I can do it. Bad news: my French is not getting anywhere near done. One out of two's not bad. [3:47AM Edit: Also, just found out that Mr. Asshole from the end of last year has officially moved back here. I've never hated anyone as much I hate him. After seeing him on campus once this semester, I can't imagine running into him when it's just the two of us. I get nauseous thinking about it. What is that feeling? Betrayed? Maybe. I'm just left with this overwhelming "What the hell did I do?" and anger at all the hurtful things that he's thrown in my face. I hate knowing that he's out there around campus. I have fantasies of Rich running into him and taking a swing at him. This is going to come out wrong, but the closest analogy I've got is that it's like knowing your rapist is out there, free to run into you at any moment and you're powerless to stop it. I'm torn between wanting to ask him why and wanting to hurt him physically. The shittiest thing about this is I don't know how to let it go.] [4:02AM Edit: I'm losing my mind. I get so nauseous and so angry. I'm losing my mind.] post comment

$! [13 Dec 2009|03:35am] [ mood | good stuff. ] [ music | bon iver + skinny love. ] So, last night I found out that my design for the new local Michiana Area Currency was picked to be printed! That means that for the next x-years my bills will be circulated in 7 counties in the Michigan/Indiana area. Now I don't feel so creepy for hiding out behind trees by the side of the road to get pictures of the Amish. Well okay, slightly less creepy. ( $$$ ) 2 comments|post comment

Windchill, anyone? [10 Dec 2009|09:13am] [ mood | thoroughly chilled. ] [ music | phosphorescent + wolves. ] As of 9:09AM today: Yes, that's a -20〫F windchill right there. In the daytime. And yes, I will be here for another year. post comment

[23 Nov 2009|06:41pm] Quand l'oiseau du sommeil pensa faire son nid dans ma pupille, il vit les cils et s'effraya du filet. - Ben Alhamara post comment

Dear you, [17 Nov 2009|06:21pm] [ mood | so angry. ] You're lucky you still have a face right now. Haven't you graduated? Don't you have a job? I know it's sad that no one wants you, but coming back and hitting on freshman Saint Mary's girls is pretty low. Had you been anywhere else but LaFortune, I would have given you what you had coming. I'd like to take you on in person where you can't hide behind voicemail or Facebook. There's no excuse for the shit you've done and said to me. Please crash on the drive home. post comment

Thanks, Tim. [13 Nov 2009|03:38pm] [ mood | really angry. ] It turns out that if my boss files my payroll papers late, I don't get paid until the next pay period. Which means all the money that was supposed to magically appear in my bank account today will not. Which means no income for a month. That's great. Really. And he's off vacationing in Florida, so I can't even go demand he pay me out of his pocket. I want to break something. Perhaps his legs. post comment

Just the past. [13 Nov 2009|12:03am] [ mood | sleepy. ] [ music | peter, bjorn & john + just the past. ] Tell me how, do I get to know you? You untie me as if I were a shoelace You let out all I can hold between my buttons With you I get nothing Even if, I gave you a mountain On a bad day you don't think your are at the top of it Then how can I change that When it's in your fundament? You can't take a compliment Take a rest with me after a long day Foots on the table Don't take them down down down Don't take them down Is it your parents? Or just the past? If you should reach what you aim for Don't kid yourself to blame for What's obviously not your fault Then laugh this away You won't get to hear what I really have to say What I see is not what you think I see And what I think is not what you think I think I know me, but you don't know me Cause I don't know you But take a rest with me After a long day Don't take them down down down Don't take them down Is it your parents? Or just the past? post comment

Gripes? Is that the word? I don't know english. [10 Nov 2009|09:11pm] [ mood | freaked. ] [ music | joseph arthur + dead sailor. ] Been having crazy dreams lately. Really vivid, often disorienting, and altogether unsettling. I'm not sure what sort of nonsense has to be going on in my subconscious for this stuff to show up in my dreams, but I think I've had enough now, thank you. In other news, Pete continues to call my mother and cry on her shoulder. Doesn't he have his own mom? And just tonight he's starting dishing the dirt on Caitie and all the horrible things she's been doing. I'd sort of like her to keep what little sanity she has left, so it'd be awesome if he could just quit calling. I feel bad for him, but come on man, let my mom be. And a walrus I drew. Because he's cute. And I like cute. post comment

[01 Nov 2009|06:53pm] [ mood | relieved? ] It is somehow oddly comforting to know that he will be so far away from me, probably for the rest of our lives. Also freakish that that email came today. post comment

I am officially official. [23 Oct 2009|03:31pm] [ mood | like a proud parent. ] [ music | arcade fire + wake up. ] This month my signs & banners for Sunoco went public! I have taken so many photos, you'd think these things were my children. More later! post comment

Turnpike. [22 Oct 2009|10:58pm] [ music | manchester. ] I took it like a grown man crying on the pavement Hoping you would show your face But I haven't heard a thing you've said In at least a couple hundred days What'd you say? post comment

[30 Sep 2009|08:01am] [ mood | tempted to get back in bed. ] [ music | sondre lerche. ] Goal: Make it to all four classes and work today. It's bad. I've got 3.5 semesters left of school, and my work ethic has permanently gone MIA. post comment

[22 Sep 2009|08:05pm] Everyone in my family has lost their mind. Flying home on Friday to pick up the pieces. post comment

On, off. On, off. Off. [20 Sep 2009|09:44pm] [ mood | sick of drama. ] [ music | now now every children + in my chest. ] So, wedding update. The world has turned upside-down, but as usual, continues to revolve around Caitie. She's pretty sure she's calling off the wedding.. three weeks before showtime. The final decide-by day is Tuesday, and she's gone MIA in the meantime. My dad's a grab-for-the-kitchen-knife away from killing her, since everything's pretty much all paid for and non-refundable. I think she's a fool if she cancels this. She's nearly impossible to deal with on a daily basis. No one's ever going to love her the way Pete does. 48 hours till the final word, but the cancellation notices are already in line at the printer's. I guess we'll see. post comment

[19 Sep 2009|05:06pm] post comment

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